lillysmommy

You know I haven’t loged into this site in a while.  To be honest I wasn’t planning to for a while. Well at least until I lost the weight I gained since I last loged on.  But then I realized thats what this site is all about. No one is perfect and no one on here claims to be. Thats what attracted me to this site in the first place. I am back on track this time 20 pounds heavier than my last post. Yes I am 230 that’s the most I’ve ever weighed in my life. (pregnancy included) I think the day I delivered I was 225ish. So what happened? Well I got off my medication I was on that was helping me due to heart palpitations. DIET PILLS = BAD by that way.  Shortly after and to my surprise we were expecting another baby. Unfortuatly there were complications and we lost the baby. It was pretty hard to go through, I believe that things happen for a reason and maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Well going through that brought me back to an ugly place known as emotional eating! I know it’s a problem I have and for the most part I feel that I am able to be aware of when I am doing it and able to control it. Well at the time that I was going through this I knew what I was doing, I knew I was letting my emotions get the best of me, and I just didn’t care.  Well thats the past and I’m not trying to dwell on it. I am more motivated today than I have ever been in my life. Partly due to that fact that I officially had to shop at a plus sized store to buy a size 18 dresses for my grandparents 50th wedding anivarsary party this weekend. It was a real wake up call and I am ready to do this. I started about two weeks ago and I dont think I’ve really lost much, but I’m not gonna let it get me down. I’ve started working out again which that alone is HUGH and I’m looking forward to what this year is gonna bring for me. This is the year that I’m gonna get to my goal I can feel it!

So Hi my name is Meztli and so new to this whole thing. I stared my page about a week ago but didn’t have time to blog or play around with the site yet. I guess I’m kind of imtimidated by this whole senerio but am willing to give it a try. I’ve done about everything at this point. Let see for starter I am A 25 year old mommy of a beautiful baby girl who just turned one about two weeks ago and she means everything in the world to me.  I’ve been struggling with my weight for as long as I can remember. I got on my first diet when I was nine,  was struggling with an eating disorder by 14. Althought I no longer consider myself to have an eating disorder it is something that you can’t really ever shake or get rid of. I still carry some of the behaviors but I try to control it and stay positive. That’s just me, no one in my “circle of trust” really even knows I suffer with this because it’s not something I share.  I’m not that person that goes around feeling sorry for myself I’m the one who is always happy and making others laugh. It’s dificult for me to find an outlet sometimes. So anyways I worked at LA weightloss for about two years and it really helped me learn about myself and about nutition. I know A LOT about heathy eating and especially about behavior and how it can affect your relationship with food. I dont have a degree however or concider myself an expert but I am pretty well informed. Why I’m I still overweight then? Well for me it’s a little bit harder than just eat this and lose weight. It’s a battle every meal of everyday.  Some days are good others are bad. The only time that I felt I did really well was when I was working in weight loss and I had to practiced what I preached . Thankfully I worked there thoughout my pregnancy and I gained the normal 25 pounds and lost my baby weight by the time she was 5 weeks old. Unfortuatlly when I stopped working there to be a full time student and mommy I lost control and I weigh more now than I did when I was nine months pregnant. I have not given up. I am still trying. I just started on a medication that my doctor gave me and although I am not a big fan of medication and I dont intend to use it for a long period of time, it has given me a feeling of control so that I can make good choices and not cave into my cravings.  I have lost ten pounds already this last week. I know it was probably a lot of water weight since my diet before was probably to high in sodium but for now it’s given me the motivation to keep going. It is really inportant for me to get to my goal so that I can lead by example and teach my daughter a healthy lifestyle and for her to not ever see me stuggle.